Article I. Inalienable Rules
Clause 1. A player wins by playing his last card as normal, including saying whatever is required by the rules to play that card. He then must say “I gain control of the government” if he is not the previous winner or “I keep control of the government” if he is.
Clause 2. After winning, the winner appoints someone to shuffle the cards, then takes possession of this constitution from the previous winner (if appropriate), entitling him to read them and add a single amendment to them.
Clause 3a. All amendments must be written at the end of this constitution, must be preceded by the article and clause number that they are adding or replacing, and must be followed by the name of the winner doing the writing. (Except as provided by clause 4,) no alteration to this constitution may be made except at its end, following all other amendments. Amendments must be logically numbered: amendments to article II must concern basic rules and not specific cards or combinations thereof, amendments to article III must concern specific cards but not combinations thereof, and amendments to article IV must concern combinations of cards but not specific cards by themselves.
Clause 3b. Amendments to this constitution may only replace or add a single clause, and must be clear in their function. Added clauses must not contradict any other clause. Replacement clauses must not contradict clauses other than the clause they are replacing, and must be an adequate replacement of that clause: if that clause is part of article II, the winner must take especial care to preserve the continuation of the game; if that clause is part of article III or IV, the amendment must logically replace the clause (such as providing a mutually incompatible function for the same card). The Preamble may be amended, but it may not include information affecting play and may only be amended for the sake of amusement or personal satisfaction.
Clause 3c. As an exception to clause 3b, a subclause may, as an amendment unto itself, be added to article III, clause 2 (hereafter referenced as “III.2”). Such subclauses only have constitutional power while the “MIRROR UNIVERSE” effect is active. Such subclauses may contradict article II, superceding any rules there while the “MIRROR UNIVERSE” effect is active. The replacing or addition of a subclause will be deemed an amendment unto itself. If such subclauses exist, III.2 may only be replaced in such a fashion as to allow, through the playing of no more than a single card (not as part of a combination of cards), the “MIRROR UNIVERSE” effect that activates the subclauses. III.2 may be amended in such a way as to prevent, or to restrict, the deactivation of the “MIRROR UNIVERSE” effect. III.2 may only be removed entirely if it has, as it does before any amendments are made, no subclauses.
Clause 3d. Article I may not be amended. No amendment may refer explicitly to a particular player or to the winner, though amendments may make generic references such as “the player to the right of the person whose turn it is.” No amendment may ensure, such as through its confusion it creates, the victory of any particular player.
Clause 4. In the case of conflicts between rules, recall that no amendment or clause may invalidate any other. For example, effects granted specific cards are not invalidated by the general rules applying to the playing of cards. Moreover, a clause that allows a player to invoke an effect from playing a card cannot be combined with any other such effects, including those provided by completion of combinations of cards as specified in article IV. In the case of an improperly written amendment which contradicts more than one clause without possible resolution, that amendment may be crossed out and initialed by the present winner or a neutral arbiter without this action counting as an amendment itself, so long as the person (if he is still playing) who wrote that amendment is notified and, following this, all players are read the amendment and informed of its nullification.
Clause 5. When the cards are shuffled and the amendment is written, the winner deals seven cards to each player and puts the remaining cards, face down, in the center of the table. This is the deck from which players will draw. The winner then turns over the top card from this deck, creating a card onto which other cards may be played. Play begins one position clockwise from the dealer, continuing clockwise.
Clause 6. For the first hand, the person who holds the constitution, elects the shuffler, and deals as if they won the previous hand does not add an amendment. That person is selected through lot by each player drawing a card and comparing their value, with “K” considered higher than “Q”, “Q” higher than “J”, “J” higher than “10”, and “A” lower than “2”; in the case of a tie for the highest value, those who tied for the highest value draw again and compare their value, repeating until only one player has the highest value.
Clause 7. A player may withdraw from the game at any time, placing his hand under those cards already played if the game is in session. Players may join only between one round’s conclusion and another’s commencement, and only by the unanimous consent of those already playing. Play may also be suspended, but only between one round’s conclusion and another’s commencement, and only by the unanimous consent of all players. If only one player remains, that player wins any ongoing game by default, though he cannot appoint a shuffler, nor amend the constitution, nor deal until a player has joined the game, but must instead be the guardian of the constitution, however amended, until another player or additional players join the game, at which point play commences. No provision, short of the physical destruction of this constitution, is provided for the end of a game, which more frequently goes on hiatus, however long, sometimes while other constitutions in various states of amendment are used by the same players.

Article II. Basic Rules
Clause 1. Any number of decks may be used, and these decks may have jokers in them or not.
Clause 2. Players may hide their hands from each other.
Clause 3. Cards may be played if they are of the same suit or the name number. Jokers are considered wild, meaning that they may be played on top of any other card and may be followed by any other card.
Clause 4. If a player cannot or does not wish to play a card, he draws a card and forfeits his turn.
Clause 5. When a card is played, the person playing the card must say the value of the card on the deck plus the card being played, as if it were a hand of blackjack (“21” is should be called “blackjack” instead). As with blackjack, an “A” may be valued at 1 or at 11, and all royal cards (“J”, “K”, and “Q”) are worth 10. A joker card has no value.
Clause 6. If a player violates a rule, any other player may penalize that player by giving him a card, not visible to any other player. If that player violated a rule by playing a card, the card that was played is returned to that player. A player may only be penalized for breaking a rule once, by any player. If a player seems to break two rules, he may only receive one card. When a player is penalized, if it is his turn, his turn is forfeited. Consistently, falsely penalizing a player means that the false penalty is reversed and the player doing the penalizing may be penalized by any other player for falsely penalizing.
Clause 7. No player may see the constitution except for the present winner and (when available) a neutral arbiter shown to secrecy and used to resolve disagreements.

Article III. Specific Cards
Clause 1. Whenever an “A” is played, the player may say “ONE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER” instead of what he is normally obligated to say. If so, he must then place the card (face up) in a new deck. From then on, any player may play as normal or play any card except a joker on top of the “A”, in which case he, instead of saying anything else, must characterize the relationship of these two cards in a particular fashion.

1. If an “A” is played on top of the “A”, this characterization must be “couple”. If a numbered card is played on top of the “A”, this characterization must be “gang bang for” -- followed by the number on the card played. If a royal card is played on top of the “A”, this characterization must be “good catch”.
2. If the card played is of the same suit as the “A”, the prefix “incestuous” must be added to the characterization.
3. If the two cards are of different colors (red and black), the prefix “interracial” must be added to the characterization.
4. The “A” is considered to have the sex of the person who played it and the card played on top of it is considered to have the sex of the person who plays it, unless that card is “J” or “K”, which are considered masculine, or “Q”, which is considered feminine: if the two cards are both feminine, the prefix “lesbian” must be added to the characterization; if the two cards are both masculine, the prefix “homosexual” must be added to the characterization.
5. If the “A” was played by someone under age, the prefix “underage” must be added to the characterization.
6. If the card played is of diamonds, the prefix the root characterization changes from “couple” to “whore,” from “gang bang” to “paid gang bang’, and from “good catch” to “mistress”. If the card played is of hearts, the prefix “loving” must be added to the characterization. If the card played is of clubs, the root characterization changes from “couple” to “rape”, from “gang bang” to “violent gang bang”, and from “good catch” to “coerced sex”.

Article IV. Specific Combinations of Cards
Clause 1. Any card may be played at any time so long as it is played on top of an identical card and the player playing the new card says “CLONE” instead of what he is normally obligated to say.
Clause 2. When any card is played that has an effect, any player may play a “J” of the same suit and say “HIGHJACK” instead of what he is normally obligated to say. The effect of the previous card is cancelled. Play order is unaffected by playing a “J” as a “HIGHJACK”. (If two or more decks are used,) a “HIGHJACK” effect may be used to cancel a “HIGHJACK” effect.
Clause 3. When an “A” is played on top of another “A,” any player may say “SNAKE EYES.” The player who played the card must then draw a card.
Clause 4. When a card is played on another card such that the total value equals seven (such as “A” and “6” or “4” and “3”), the player may say “LUCKY SEVEN” instead of what he is normally obligated to say. He must then play another card.
Clause 5. When a “6” is played on a “7,” any player may say “THE SPIRIT OF ‘76.” Play order continues as normal, except that each player may play any single card and must not say anything as he does. Such cards have no effect and are treated as if they were never played, except that, if a player plays his last card this way, he may win as normal. This continues until the player who played the “6” plays a card in such a fashion, in which case play resumes as normal.
Clause 6. When a “J” or “K” is played on top of a “Q”, the player may say “I KIDNAP YOUR QUEEN” instead of what he is normally obligated to say. He then moves that “Q” towards him. No other player may play upon the “Q”, but the player may play any “J” or “K” upon it at any time, including during other players’ turns, by saying “I RAPE YOUR QUEEN” instead of what he is normally obligated to say.
Clause 7. When two royals (“J”, “Q”, and “K”) are played in a row, if the next player plays a royal, he may say “MENAGE À TROIS” instead of what he is normally obligated to say. He may then play an additional “3” of any suit. Whether he does or not, if the next player plays a royal, that player must say “MENAGE À QUATRE” instead of what he is normally obligated to say. He may then play an additional “4” of any suit. Whether he does or not, if the next player plays a royal, that player must say “MENAGE À CINQ” instead of what he is normally obligated to say. He may then play an additional “5” of any suit. This process may continue until a player does not play a royal, instead playing as normal (treating the card on top of the ).
Clause 8. If a player has sixteen cards and would normally draw a card or be penalized with a card, he may say “SWEET SIXTEEN” and remove his obligation to draw or put the penalty card back on the deck as if it were not given.